Over the past 6 months, I have been journeying with Lalah Delia's monthly membership and nurturing my energetic experience through multiple lockdowns, a very long and cold winter in Melbourne and regrounding after spending nearly 8 months in other parts of the country due to unexpected border closures.
I found my return to Melbourne quite difficult, but with an open mind. In 2020, I booked a 10 day holiday to my hometown of Newcastle, and 3 days in Melbourne went into a 6-week lockdown. I figured I would stay at my parent's place to ride out the wave and return once things reopened. But that didn't happen till 5 months later, in December. I took a short break to head back down and retrieve my car, as I had Christmas weddings in QLD right around the corner. This time I found myself doubling a 3-week trip while the border closed again, but this time to NSW.
Returning to Melbourne wasn't easy, to be honest. I had formed a life in Newcastle. Reconnected with the beautiful place I grew up in after 12 years away. I was in a constant place of gratitude that I didn't have to endure the hard lockdown, many of the people I knew. However, getting back to Melbourne, a lot had changed. My world that I created had essentially dissolved. My community considerably reduced. I moved into a new place, expecting a fresh start, which I was open to, but rolling lockdowns had other ideas.
Getting through that time took a significant toll on my mental health. I had reoccurring anxiety once again after a 4-year absence. Like many others, my nervous system hit hard with the perpetual messages of fear and uncertainty from so many levels.
I knew I had to strip right back to navigate through this time. The liminal space was presented to me, out of any control of my own, and I knew I had to take care of my mental health at all costs.
That's where Lalah Delia's work became a saving grace. We expect change to be robust moves, changing face at every corner. A metric we can clearly see and articulate to others. That is capitalism 101, right. Short-termism, with something materialist to show at the end.
However, what they don't tell you, this strategy to approach change goes against the makings of your brain. We are hardwired to resist change. Our amygdala interprets change as a threat. Releases fight, flight, freeze or fear throughout our body. Our body has been designed to protect us from this process. Often it also invokes a grieving response. Again, a response brings forth a wide range of emotions, creating resistance to follow through.
That is why I have come to appreciate the softer approach. The liminal process to change. The intangible musings that are reforming within the peripheral of the human experience.
Regardless of our innate bodies response, change is one of the guarantees in the human experience. Reframing change through a liminal lens via Lalahs amazing teachings, I knew that there was something more powerful, and that was the space in between. The space between my life before and where I was planning to emerge. The space where I could harness my human magic to illuminate my heart-based intentions for the next.
Each day through that time, I started to redefine my own version of winning. For me, it included ensuring I meditated, went outside for a walk, and ate well. If I did those things, I won. Period. And if I didn't, that was totally okay. There was always tomorrow.
There was nothing outwardly to gain, just commitment to my process, my space each and every day. The internet defines liminal space as the "physical spaces between one destination and the next", but again that's narrow to the physical world we exist in.
Through my own commitment to wellbeing, mindfulness, movement, I started to clear the fog and ask what my next destination would be in the truest sense of the word. While I took care of my nervous system, heart and soul, I wondered what the end result I am percolating towards was on an individual level.
They don't teach us that this type of thinking is a powerful tool in mainstream society. By considering your end result, goal, dream, you activate the part of the brain that starts to form neural pathways that support your actions towards that outcome.
Some call its manifestation, but I call that neuroscience. The liminal space is that journey in between. When the ethereal unfolding takes place without the strain, grit and grasping for an outcome to be reached. And voilà in a moment, you are there.
Sharing this process with a client is my favourite part of being a life coach. Seeing their eyes light up when they realise their relationship and connection with their goals has exceeded what the logical mind could have ever conceived.
Finding your liminal space?
Let go of the expectations, logical thinking, the limits of your mind. Release them.
Determine 2-3 daily rituals that help bring balance to your state each day. Nurture your nervous system.
It could be anything, good sleep, eating nourishing foods, yoga, meditation, movement, hugs or smelling flowers for some ideas. You choose.
Set 1-2 heart-centred intentions, sit with them, how they make your physical body feel, and imagine you living this reality.