The honeymoon period is over.
Over the past few months, I had relished in the change of pace, something new, when suddenly the momentum had stopped. I was left grappling with my decisions while in the ebbs and flow of a life change.
Everyone talks about the honeymoon period in a relationship. Still, I have come to realise this exists too when other exciting events happen in our lives. As I began my research into this idea, I realised it may not present precisely the same way. Still, the trend and phases are similar when applied to new and exciting things happening in your life.
When I first moved back, I was excited about a fresh start. I honestly enjoyed being in the city. However, like many, that time also showed me the exciting and creative endeavours happening all the time didn't outweigh the hustle and bustle of daily life, bustling, constantly moving from one thing to another. While I am also strategic and ambitious in my career, I knew that it could also be developed and nurtured no matter where I was located. What was most important happened outside my employment. I felt distracted by getting through the day, that my passions and desires were overwhelmed, and I couldn't keep up.
I was grateful to be exposed to the things I did living in a place like Melbourne. My entrepreneurial bells started to ring (as a multi-passionate person), my spiritual juices came to life, which felt like coming home to the purest form of my innate nature and my world was expanded by the thought leadership and ideas of the people I had the privilege of getting to know. That radical shift only took a year of living there. I always had a strong desire to move there, which I thought would be my forever. However, when I signed up for the Beautiful You Coaching Academy in Feb 2020, I looked around my workplace. I wondered, "how could I leave the ritualistic nature of a full-time professional career' to pursue the passions I felt deep inside.
Then the worldwide events of 2020 hit.
Before that, I started to wonder if I wanted to move to my hometown. The beaches of summer 2020 drew me into what could be daily life. Not much traffic, gorgeous sunshiny days, grounded community and space to explore. Then when I started to think about the lockdown, if I would not choose to be locked down where I was (small city apartment), where would I choose to be?
I visualised ( or daydreamed) this in my meditations. I saw nature, sunshine, ocean, cafes, kindness, family and community. Before I knew it, on the eve of Melbourne's second lengthy lockdown in 2020, I was at my parent's farm in NSW on a 10 day holiday (after scoring $30 flights). That 10 days turned into close 7 months.
I was ready to give Melbourne a new chance. I hadn't quite found the conviction to move yet, but it became apparent super quickly that this would happen. I think the rolling lockdowns meant I did daydream about what this would be like. I fantasised about how the move would be amazing and was very idealistic about this life change. I was too mentally exhausted to try and set some boundaries around this because times were tough, and I needed an outlet.
The honeymoon phase continued to reinforce the imagination. Your brain is designed to show more of what you are focusing on in your life. I saw sunshine, lots of activity, a fresh start and many ocean swims.
Move forward to May 2022, and I stand here now, post "honeymoon phase", realising that I have neglected my inner environment while I have tended to my external environment. It hit me like a tonne of bricks a couple of weeks ago. The reality of my decisions, while in the ebbs and flow of moving, began to question if they were right for me.
This led to tiredness, isolation, and poor morale and mindset. I began to compare my life to others, furthering the pursuit of negativity. While on the exterior, I kept trying to show a level of "I'm totally cool" while the inside was crumbling. What shocked me was that I wasn't questioning my move. I am very content with it. I realise now, after the crumble, that I had not tendered to my internal environment the same way as the external.
So what happened when I realised the honeymoon period was over.
Firstly, I fought it. I demanded within myself that I needed the flows, not of the ebbs, while adjusting to my new normal. It was everything else's fault while I was feeling this way. Factors outside my control were in my way.
This weekend I had a big cry.
I don't like to admit that. I am still getting used to honouring and expressing my emotions. My tears actually stung. If my eyes are sensitive, there is something not right within my inner compass. In the past, with previous challenging events, my eyes swelled and became dry, and I had no idea why. Now I understand the physical formation of repressed emotion. It is a sign that I am holding something heavy emotionally, and it needs to be released.
I am so grateful for my soul friends who can hold that space. It's not something I am comfortable admitting. Still, I began processing the things I had been holding in and reorientating to get back on the path within my inner world.
This weekend, I slept early. Spent time at the infrared sauna to detox. Went to the beach. Enjoyed a sound bath, chakra yin yoga and meditation workshop. I also read a book that I felt called to explore and had the right messages that I needed at this moment in time. I was also honest in saying to people I haven't been my best and starting a conversation about my needs. I also had courageous discussions about my experiences to ensure that honesty expanded my inner circle. Finally, I have booked a holiday to Hawaii because, yes, I NEED something to look forward to in a place that fills my soul.
I wanted to share this with you. As the pace of life is picking back up again, how are you tending to your inner world? Is it the new normal you wish it to be?
You don't need to adopt my strategies, but I encourage you to find your own. Vitality starts within your own cup before expanding into your broader life.
if you can find ways to connect and ground into your inner embodiment. In that case, this will enable you to start taking inspired action in your external experiences.
In my opinion, your inner environment is more critical than anything on the outside. It could be about incorporating one thing into your weekend or week and seeing how you naturally respond to having that ritual in your own life.
This is COURAGEOUS. This is BRAVE. This is VITALITY.
Change is all around us. Some that is within our agency, some that is happening while unaware. Some will give us the elation, but when the comedown happens, the reality of day to day again hits. I ask you.
What can you do to tend to your inner world today?